


hello my old heart

by flyingroses121



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, M/M, TW Suicide mention, stanley and eddie live, tw for canon typical violence, tw for homophobic slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28083855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingroses121/pseuds/flyingroses121
Summary: hello, my old heart // how have you been? // how is it being locked away?Stanley Uris returns to Derry, reuniting with the Losers Club and rekindling his childhood love.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris & Eddie Kaspbrak, Stanley Uris & Richie Tozier
Comments: 15
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've spent the past few days working on this. It's honestly my pride and joy at the moment! I've put hours of work and effort into this, so please enjoy!

Memories were always such a fickle thing. Trying to think back and remember, piecing together what you could, all the way from how a person moved to the color of the walls around you. Even that was hard to get a good grip on.

Stanley laid awake in bed, staring at the ceiling as he tried to remember. Everything he could see had some sort of haze around it, like he was looking at it through glass of murky lake water.

Water.

Quarry.

He sat up, eyes wide. “The quarry.” He said to the dim light of the moon that illuminated his room. The quarry, where they went to throw rocks and… spit loogies. He suppressed a gag at that one. The quarry, where they were together without worry. It was their spot, and no one else knew.

Then the question of “they” arose. Who were the “they” that kept popping up in his head? If he really tried, he could make out basic, blurry outlines.

What he didn’t expect was the wall of emotion that followed. Tears welled in his eyes as old emotions rose and made a place in his chest, causing a pain so great that he had to lay back to allow himself to process.

The next time he sat up, it was morning. Whether or not he had slept was lost knowledge. He muttered a curse and whipped his head around to look at his clock. Six in the morning. Okay. That was good.

Stanley got out of bed and got dressed in a button down and a pair of khakis before leaving his room. He knew how sad he looked, but he didn’t try to fix anything with it. Patty would find out anyway.

Patty was in the kitchen, sitting at the small table pressed against a wall. She looked up when Stanley walked in. “Morning. You look like shit.”

Stanley let out a small huff. “Honest as ever, Pat.” He opened the fridge and took out an open can of soda, shrugging before taking a long drink. He scrunched his face up at the taste. “Flat.” He said, closing the fridge and joining her at the table. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “I might have unrepressed some stuff last night.”

Patty looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “Really? How do you feel..? Do you need to stay home today?”

Stanley took a moment to think. “Honestly? That isn’t a bad idea.” He looked to her with an empty expression. “It was tough. I felt… like my chest was going to explode.” He said with a small laugh.

“Does it have anything to do with the scars on your face?” Patty asked as she picked up her mug.

“My- my scars?” Stanley lifted a hand and pressed his fingers to one of the many scares that lined his face. “No, it, uh, didn’t have anything to do with my scars.”

Patty sighed and rolled her eyes. “Unrepress something cool for a change, Uris.” She said, but not without a smirk.

Stanley snickered and rolled his eyes right back. “I think I would be in worse shape if I had unrepressed that.”

They shared that laugh for a moment before Patty spoke again. “Tell me when you’re ready. Or don’t tell me, I really don’t mind. Up to you completely.” She looked back down at the book she was reading. “Also, I still don’t know how you read this shit.”

“Read what?”

“William Denbrough.” She looked up at him with a bored expression. “I mean, he’s a great writer, just… bad at the little things and the big picture.”

Stanley would have responded, but he just sat there. He sat there, mouth agape, eyebrows slightly raised as he stared at the book.

He was remembering something. Something besides colors, something besides clothing, something besides the raw emotion.

“... that’s what I always told him. Work on the details. It isn’t redundant, it’s important for the story building.” He said in a low voice, head ticking to the left as he finished. “Shit, I-” he ticked a few more times before taking a deep breath and calming himself down. “Sorry.”

“You just remembered something, didn’t you? And let yourself tic, or it’ll be worse later.” She said as she looked back up at him.

Stanley rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. But I did remember something. I don’t know how I could have possibly talked to William Denbrough, but apparently I did. He prefers to be called Bill.”

For some reason, when he said that, Stanley felt an overwhelming sense of loss. His heart ached like he had lost someone he loved. Someone very close to him. The feeling was jarring, almost making him gasp out loud. He looked back up at Patty, who was looking at him with a gaze mixed with concern and fascination. After another moment, she spoke. “Stan, maybe you should go call in before it gets too late. You can’t go to work like this.”

Stanley nodded slowly as he stood up. “Yeah. You’re right. I can’t function like this. Sorry, Pat.”

“Don’t be. This kind of thing is hard, and I’m here for you, okay?” She looked up at him with a soft smile.

Stanley nodded once more. “Okay. I’ll be back in a second.”

After that, Stanley slowly started to remember more about Bill. One of the blurry silhouettes he had imagined had a little more detail. A red flannel, jean shorts frayed at the edges. No facial features, but that was okay. What Stanley was remembering was more than enough for him.

Then, a mere few months later, there was the call.

Mike. Mike Hanlon, one of his childhood friends. Did he know Bill as well?

Yes.

Stanley remembered all of them after the call. Mike, Bill, Ben, Beverly, Richie, and Eddie. The people he grew up with.

He lowered his phone from his face, continuing to stare blankly ahead. He looked down at his unfinished puzzle, taking a deep breath and sighing.

Patty looked up from her laptop, eyebrows raised. “Who was that?” She asked, her tone laced with concern.

Stanley turned to face her. “... an old friend. One of the people I grew up with. He wants us to all come back to Derry.” His voice was quiet, a little scared.

Patty’s eyes widened as he spoke. “Holy shit. So you just remembered a lot, huh?”

Stanley nodded slowly. “Yeah. There were seven of us, including myself. We grew up in Derry, Maine.”

Patty stood and joined him on the couch. “Are you going to go? I mean, you have to, right? If for anything, for closure.”

Stanley laughed softly and shook his head. “I… don’t know about that.”

Patty scoffed. “Stan, I know this scares you, and I know you hate travel, but come on. One of your childhood friends called you after, what, almost thirty years?”

“Twenty seven years.”

“Exactly. Stan, I really think you should go. Reconnect with your friends. I’m sure they miss you as much as you miss them.” Patty put a firm, comforting hand on his shoulder as she smiled at him.

Stanley pursed his lips and thought for a moment. He did miss them. He missed them so much, his heart ached at the thought of not going. On the other hand…

No. He shook his head as he pushed those thoughts away. “You know what? You’re right, Patty.” He turned to her with a small smile. “I’m going to go.”

Patty smiled wide and nodded. “Good. I’m proud of you. When are you leaving?”

“Mike wants us to meet up tomorrow night, so I’m going to leave tomorrow morning. Today, I’m booking a flight and arranging everything with work.” Stanley said with a firm nod.

“Great plan. If you need any help, I’m here for you.” Patty squeezed his shoulder before pulling back. “Do you know when you’ll be coming back?”

Stanley laughed softly and shook his head. “Nope, not at all.”

Patty smiled and laughed with him. “Alright. Well, good luck, Stan. I’m a phone call away.” She held her arms open.

Stanley hugged her tight, resting his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes. “I’ll fill you in when I can. I have a feeling I’m going to be… very busy.”

“That’s okay.” She pulled back slightly to look at him. “Hey. You’re a very good friend. They’re gonna be happy to see you again.” She said softly.

Stanley smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

-

The flight was delayed, due to inclimate weather.

Stanley sat at the airport with a scowl on his face, tapping his umbrella against the linoleum. He sighed deeply as his eyes traveled to the screen, finding his flight. It was set to leave way later than what he was originally planned. He would have to be late.

The idea of being late made him even more frustrated, so he veered his thoughts away from that.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. As he did so, he had a thought. While waiting for his flight, he could try to gather some more memories. He faced forward and took another deep breath as he reached back into his mind.

His thoughts first went back to the quarry. Tiptoeing the edge with his friends, laughing as they all messed around and had fun together. From what he could remember right now, the quarry was a nice reprieve.

Until he felt fear shoot through his chest. His head ticked to the side, startling the person next to him. He murmured an apology before looking back to the screen.

His flight was boarding.

Stanley stood up and made his way to the gates. The fear that had exploded through him was a lot calmer, but still sat in the middle of his chest. For a different reason than being pushed into the freezing waters of the quarry.

Much to Stanley’s relief, the plane ride was smooth, and after about two and a half hours, he was in Maine. He got off the plane, luggage in hand in stomach in knots. He got a rental car and loaded his suitcase into the back seat before setting off for the meeting place.

As he drove, more memories came back. Landing in Augusta made him remember the multiple trips in a small, cramped car. Bill’s car. Stanley smiled when he remembered that, lightly patting the steering wheel.

Luckily for him, Augusta wasn’t too far away from Derry, and he got there sooner than expected. He would still be late, but only by a little bit. He looked at the time and nodded softly to himself. This was going to be okay.

When Stanley parked and turned the car off, he sat there for a moment, mentally preparing himself. He was about to see his friends after twenty seven years. A smile spread onto his face, as he mentally thanked Patty once more. Without her, he didn’t think he would be here.

Without her, he would most likely be dead.

Stanley got out of the car and grabbed his umbrella- he wasn’t sure why, he just had a feeling that he was going to need it. He walked into the restaurant and greeted the hostess with a smile. “Hi, I’m part of Mike Hanlon’s party.” He said.

“This way!”

Stanley followed her through the floor, his nerves fraying with every step. As he got closer, he heard a snip of a conversation from a voice he knew too well.

“... real question, where is Stanley?”

A beat of silence.

“Stan! Stan Uris. Is he coming..?”

“Stan Urine? No, that guy’s a pussy, he’s not gonna…”

Stanley cleared his throat, raised his eyebrows, and looked around at everyone, eyes stopping on Richie. “Good to see you, too, trashmouth.”

Richie turned and slowly smiled. “Holy shit, Stan the man!”

Ben laughed softly and put his cup down. “Hey, didn’t expect you to show!”

Mike stood and rounded the table, pulling Stan into a big hug as Eddie greeted him. Stanley dropped his umbrella out of surprise as he returned the hug. “I missed your hugs.” He said as Mike pulled away.

“I missed you, man. I missed all of you.” He turned back to the rest of the table with a smile.

Beverly sat up and folded her hands together, resting her chin on top of her knuckles. “What about this, huh? The Losers, together again.”

Mike sat back down as Bill spoke. “It feels good.” He nodded and looked up at Stanley. “Good to see you, Stan.” He said with a smile.

As Stanley sat down between Richie and Eddie, he was hit with a new wave of emotion. Something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

He stared at Bill for a moment before replying. “Yeah. Good to see you, too.” He nodded and propped his umbrella up beside him and Richie.

“What’s the umbrella for?” Ben asked as the air around the table started to return to what it was before Stanley arrived.

“Oh, it was raining in Atlanta when I went to the airport.” He said as he clasped his hands on the table.

“Holy shit, Atlanta?” Richie said, turning to Stanley as he spoke. “What do you do there?”

Stanley turned to Richie and nodded. “Yeah, Atlanta. I’m an accountant, actually the most successful one there.”

Bill spoke up when Stanley was finished. “That’s very impressive!” He said, lightly tapping the table. “Are you married or anything..?” He asked, trying to further the conversation.

Stanley couldn’t help but snicker, the feeling returning as Bill spoke to him. He wished the reason would reveal itself already… “No, I’m not married, but I live with my friend, Pat.”

“Friend?” Richie’s voice erupted through his thoughts.

Stanley turned to him with raised eyebrows. “Yes, Richie, my friend. We are very good friends, in fact, we met in college.”

Richie hummed softly and picked up his drink. “Yeah, yeah, sure. Pat’s your “friend”, and I’m married to Eddie’s mom.”

Eddie took a deep breath as he turned to Richie. “I wish you would shut the fuck up, Tozier.”

Richie gasped and looked around the table. “Do you all hear how he’s talking to me right now? So rude to your step-”

“Okay!” Beverly said, sitting up and leaning over the table. “That’s enough of that.” She said, seeing Eddie start to bristle over Richie’s words. “What about you, Bill, are you married?” She asked, turning to him with an inquisitive gaze.

“I am, yeah.” Bill held up his left hand, smiling softly as the ring glinted in the light. “Audra. She’s been in a few movies, maybe you’ve heard of her.”

Stanley felt his heart sink slightly. “Oh, that’s… that’s cool.” He nodded, forcing himself to smile.

As the conversation continued around him, Stanley realized what the feeling was.

Him and Bill had dated. And in the twenty seven years since they had seen each other, they had forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! I'll be updating this story every night or so. Please enjoy!
> 
> TW: violence, suicide mentions

No. There was no way they had forgotten that they were dating each other. How do you forget someone when you’re…

Stanley decided to not think about it. Suddenly disgusted with himself, he tried to contribute to the conversation. It had shifted from marriage to first memories, the energy surrounding the table beginning to calm.

When Stanley started paying attention again, Beverly had started to speak. “I remembered when all of you helped me clean my bathroom. After the blood incident.” She visibly shuddered at the thought.

“That was your idea, right, Stan?” Ben added with a tilt of his head.

Stanley thought for a second. “... it was, yeah. I remember we used all the cleaning supplies, and I got more for you so your dad wouldn’t be suspicious.” He said.

Beverly nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I remember that, too.”

Eddie sat up and grabbed his drink. “That was one of the grossest things I ever had to do.” He said with a small sigh.

Bill snickered softly. “I remember you had your inhaler in your muh-mouth while we cleaned.” He crossed his arms and smiled as he looked at Eddie.

“Yeah, because-” he was cut off by laughing, and he waved an arm, “no no no, listen to my logic! In case I started to have an asthma attack, I didn’t want to have to get my inhaler out with bloody fucking gloves, then have to put a bloody inhaler in my fucking mouth!” He put his drink down as he scowled at the group. “Fuck you guys.”

Ben gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. “We love you, Eds.” He said with a small laugh. “Anyway, the first thing I remembered was…” he took a breath before continuing, “getting cut up by Bowers. And then Eddie patching me up, of course.”

A smile spread slowly across Richie’s face. “Suck the wound, Dr. K!” He turned to Eddie as he started to laugh loudly.

“Yeah, this fucking asshole kept-” he reached behind Stanley and slapped at Richie, “-distracting me while I was trying to work!”

Stanley leaned forward and made eye contact with Bill, then Mike, then Beverly, then Ben. “I forgot how obnoxious these two are.” He sat flatly as he leaned back once more.

As everyone laughed, Richie gasped and stared at Stanley. “I forgot how much of a bitch you were, Staniel.” He said, but not without a smile.

Stanley looked at Richie and laughed. “Yeah? Fuck you.”

“You wish!”

Stanley sighed as his eyes widened. “Never in a million years.” He picked up his drink and held it with both hands.

Mike spoke next. “What about you, Stan, what did you remember first?”

“Let’s see…” Stanley looked down at the table as he thought. “I think I remembered the quarry first.” He said as he looked back up. “And I also remembered when Richie pushed me in.”

Ben snickered and nodded. “Yeah, I remember that, too. You were ten kinds of pissed.”

“You hit me so hard, I bruised for the next week.” Richie said as he turned to Stanley.

“You deserved it.” Stanley said with a small smile.

There was something else with that memory that just came to Stanley.

After he had gotten out of the quarry, soaking wet, Bill let him borrow some of his clothes. He remembered fingering the soft flannel between his index finger and thumb, and smiled. Then he remembered soft lips on his, a quiet kiss shared in the brief privacy they had when he came to check on him. One hand on his waist, the other on his cheek… 

“Earth to Stan urine! Take your fortune cookie, flamer.” He was jolted out of his thoughts by Richie’s voice as well as something hard and crumbly hitting his face.

Stanley sputtered for a second, trying to catch the cookie before it hit the floor. “Fuck you, Richie.” He said as he elbowed him.

Richie stuck his tongue out at him and blew a raspberry. “Fuck you!” He said as he opened his cookie and took the fortune out.

“... guys?” Bill said, looking up at the group with furrowed brows and a troubled expression. “Mine just says “home””.

Ben held his up. “Mine’s a red dot.”

Stanley opened his and took out his fortune. “”Welcome”” is what mine says.” He looked up at the rest of the group.

Beverly read hers and spoke. “Mine says “losers”. This has to be something, this isn’t…”

“Here, lay them out on the table.” Bill cleared a space in the middle, and everyone put their fortunes down.

The words were losers, welcome, back, hey, club, and home. The outlier was the red dot.

They got to work rearranging the pieces of paper, the anxiety getting higher and higher as they did so. It only took them a few minutes, deciding to stick the dot at the end.

“Hey Losers Club, welcome back home.” Bill said softly.

“What does the dot mean..?” Ben asked slowly, moving away from the table. After he did, everyone had moved.

Mike took a breath and spoke. “It’s supposed to be a balloon. A red balloon.” He said.

Everyone remembered.

Stanley took in a shuddering breath. “This is why I didn’t want to come back.” He said slowly with the shake of his head. 

The rest of the group didn’t have time to react to what Stanley said, because the fortune cookie bowl had started to rattle. Their heads whipped around to look at it, eyes wide and breaths shaky.

The room erupted in chaos. Stanley grabbed his umbrella and stood, a shaky hand undoing the velcro that held it together.

Eddie saw and shook his head with wide eyes. “Stanley, don’t you fucking-”

Before he could finish his sentence, something lunged at Stanley. He yelled out and opened his umbrella, gasping as whatever it was got hit with hard wire underneath. He looked to Eddie, eyes wide. “You were saying?” He shouted over the chaos.

Stanley closed his umbrella and started hitting at the creatures with it, his breath becoming faster and his anxiety pulsing through his chest. He moved to a corner of the room, umbrella at the ready while everyone else used whatever they could find as a weapon.

Bill saw Stanley in the corner, whacking at the flying things desperately. “Stanley!” He called, grabbing the gong mallet and joining him. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay, love.” He whacked one of the creatures to the ground and stomped on it, ignoring the screech and the goo that erupted from it.

Stanley shook his head as he dropped his umbrella, hands shaking, unable to breathe properly. “No, no, this… this is- I- I can’t-”

“Come here.” Bill grabbed Stanley’s arm and pulled him close, wrapping an arm around him and holding him to his chest. “I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you.” He used his free arm to whack at anything that came their way.

Stanley immediately clung to Bill, hanging onto the back of his shirt for dear life. In Bill’s embrace, he felt… safer. He felt warm and safe and he never wanted to leave. He was brought back to a simpler time, a happier moment, where he got this same embrace. He could finally semi-process that Bill had called him love earlier. Did he finally remember, too?

“Is everything alright?”

Stanley bolted up and looked at the waitress that had poked her head in, eyebrows raised in question.

Mike spoke. “Uh, yeah. Could we get the check?” He asked, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

The waitress nodded and turned away from them.

The creatures were gone.

Stanley took in a shuddering breath as he pulled himself away from Bill. “Fuck.” He said, interrupting the tense quiet.

Richie took a deep breath and pushed his hands into his pockets. “Fuck indeed, Stan.”

The check came and they all paid before silently walking out of the restaurant, grouped together like old times.

Stanley simply went through the motions, letting his brain wander. And of course it went back to him in Bill’s strong embrace, immediately feeling safer when he was with him. Bill had called him love. He looked up to see that he was in front of them, leading the group. He took a breath before looking back down again.

His mind would forever be an enigma to him.

When they got outside, Bill was the first to speak. “Mike. You brought us back to kill It, didn’t you?”

Mike looked up and nodded solemnly. “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Stanley laughed softly as he crossed his arms. “Guess I should have killed myself when I had the chance.” He said, still staring at the ground.

“Stanley, what?”

Ben’s voice broke through his thoughts. He looked up to see that everyone was looking at him. “... I said that, didn’t I?”

“You were going to…” Mike couldn’t finish the sentence. He pursed his lips and ran a hand down his face.

Stanley blinked a few times before nodding once. “Y’know what? Yeah. I was going to kill myself. I even felt like I- like I had to. If it weren’t for Pat, I wouldn’t be standing here.” He took in a shaky breath and looked around at everyone. “But I didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t. Seeing all of you again, remembering everything… will make it worth it.” He nodded firmly.

Bill crossed his arms and nodded back. “Okay.” He said, stepping closer to him. “I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re glad you’re here, Stan. The Losers Club just… wouldn’t be the same without you.” He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly, giving him a soft smile.

Stanley looked at him and nodded once again. “Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.” He had to stop himself from going in for an embrace.

Beverly spoke up after a beat of silence. “We should head to the Inn before it gets too late.”

“Good idea.” Bill said as he stepped away from Stanley. “If anyone needs a ride there, I have some extra seats.”

“Same here.” Mike chipped in.

“Me too.” Stan said.

“I’m riding with Richie.” Eddie said, stepping closer to the taller man.

Ben looked to Beverly. “I can give you a ride there.” He said, taking his keys out of the pocket.

“Okay. Regroup at the Inn.” Bill said.

Stanley watched the group disperse before heading to his car. He took a deep breath as he got into the driver's seat, leaning back and letting it out.

This was going to be rough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: canon typical horror

The Inn was a complete shithole. Just like Stanley remembered.

He took his luggage out and groaned when he realized he had forgotten his umbrella at the restaurant. It didn't matter. The Pennywise creatures could have it. Maybe it rained where they were from, too.

“Hey.”

Stanley was startled by the sound of Eddie’s voice. He jumped and turned, relaxing when he saw it was Eddie. “Oh, hey Eds.” He said with a sigh. “Scared the shit out of me.” He said as he closed the car door.

Eddie was fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket. “I saw the way you were looking at Bill. You remembered that you guys were dating, didn’t you?”

Stanley’s eyes widened slightly as he listened to Eddie speak. “I… yeah, I did. How do you know?”

“I know because I remembered, dumbass.” He reached out and lightly punched his shoulder. “... I also remembered that me and Richie were dating. Before we left home.” His tone got quieter, more melancholy.

Stanley blinked a couple times as memories came back to him. Seeing Richie and Eddie wrapped up in each other in a hammock, holding hands as they rocked back and forth. “Yeah, you guys were together, huh?.” He said as he nodded. “So you know how I feel.”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded with him, eyes turning sad. “So if you wanna… I don’t know, bitch about it, let me know. And hopefully they remember soon, in case something… happens to us or them.” He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“They will, Eddie. They have to, right? I mean, if we remembered it, then they have to, too.” Stanley stood there, hand on his suitcase, as he tried to work out the logic. For Bill and Richie to not remember, it would just be weird. If more than one person remembered the couple, it happened, right?

Eddie hummed softly. “I hope so, Stan. I just don’t know what I’m gonna tell my wife.” He said with a small chuckle.

Stanley’s eyes widened. “So you’re actually married to a woman..? Oh, Eddie-” he was cut off by Eddie lunging forward and hitting him repeatedly.

“Fuck you, dude! At least I didn’t lie about dating someone!” He said with a huff.

“Wait, what?” Stanley stopped, eyebrows furrowed.

“Pat! I know you two aren’t just roommates. This isn’t don’t ask don’t tell anymore, Stan.”

“... Eddie, Pat is short for Patricia.”

Eddie completely stopped. He stood there, hands almost to his sides. “Oh.” He said, blinking a couple times as his brain reset. “Never mind, then.” He stepped away and turned to go back into the Inn.

“No, Eddie, wait-” Stanley grabbed his suitcase and followed close behind Eddie. “Does everyone think that Pat is a man and we’re dating? Eddie?” He asked, quickly catching up to him.

“Me and Richie think so! Can’t say the same for everyone else, though! Maybe you should tell Bill in case he remembers and thinks you’re with someone.” Eddie replied, looking at him and glaring. He then looked down at his one suitcase. “Just one?”

“Yes, just one. I’m not an overpacker.”

Eddie sputtered and brought a hand up in a broad gesture. “What the fuck does that mean, dickwad?”

“It means what it means. Not everything I say has a deeper meaning.” Stanley gave him a look. The look.

Eddie snickered, a smile on his face. “I really missed you, Stan.”

Stanley couldn’t help but smile as well. “I missed you too.”

When they got into the Inn, Stanley got his room key and joined the others at the seating area. Mike was standing at the center of the chairs, speaking.

“... these tokens you have to find will hold a special meaning to you. Like mine, I think, is the rock I threw during the rock war with Bowers.” He said, looking to Stanley and Eddie as they joined.

Richie let out a puff of air. “Shit, Mikey, that’s gonna be hell to find. You want help?”

Mike smiled softly and shook his head. “No, I’ll be alright. Focus on finding yours, alright? Stan, Eddie, you guys know what you’re doing?”

Stanley nodded slowly. “I think so. One question, though, does the attachment have to be positive, or negative?”

“It can be either or both. You’ll probably remember something when you find it, if that helps.” He replied.

“Alright.” Stanley nodded, already getting a couple ideas on what his token could be.

Eddie spoke as well. “What do we do after that?”

Mike bounced back on his heels. “We head to Neibolt. Get rid of It once and for all.” He said with a solemn nod.

Fear shot through Stanley at the mention of the old Neibolt house. With the fear came the memories, and with the memories came emotions. He took in a shuddering breath. “I fucking hate that place.” He said softly.

Bill looked at him and smiled a reassuring smile. “I know. But it’ll be okay, remember? You’ve got us.”

Stanley looked at him and smiled back. “Yeah.”

Mike clapped his hands together. “Alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

They said scattered goodbyes as Mike left before heading to their respective rooms. A melancholy feeling hung in the air around him, and it almost felt like they were heading to their deaths.

Stanley unlocked the door to his room and opened it.

On the other side, what was waiting for him wasn’t a room.

It was an empty, yawning chasm, the darkness almost swallowing him whole.

Stanley cursed and grabbed onto the door frame, fear pulsing through him. “Uh… guys?” He called, turning to look down the hallway.

The hallway had twisted and contorted to an almost unrecognizable shape. A high pitched noise pierced his eardrums, making him stumble backwards into the madness. The door to his room slammed shut all on its own, laughter now accompanying the noise.

Stanley fell backwards, shuffling back to sit against the wall. “This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real…” he repeated over and over to himself as he put his hands over his ears.

He wrenched his eyes shut as the laughter got louder. He focused on his breathing, inhaling slowly through his nose, and out through his mouth. The noise started to die down with his anxiety, the laughter fading as well. Stanley slowly took his hands off his ears once he was surrounded by quiet.

He opened his eyes.

He was met with the rotting face of a corpse.

Stanley screamed, trying to scramble backwards more as the laugher came back, higher pitched, and more contorted.

A voice spoke over everything. “We’re the dead ones, Stanley, we’re the dead ones! Won’t you join us?”

The dead ones. The Standpipe. Stanley remembered now.

Stanley took in a shaky breath. “Sparrow. Chickadee. Blue jay. Cardinal. Sparrow. Sparrow. Sparrow.” The bird names that had helped him escape the dead ones the last time.

As he repeated sparrow, something else rang out amid the chaos. Heavy footfalls, running toward him. “Stanley!”

Bill’s voice.

“Bill?” He called, back the dead child beginning to back away. “Bill, I need help!” He called.

“I’m coming!”

After what had felt like hours for Stanley, he felt firm hands on his shoulders. The hallucination melted away as soon as he saw Bill crouched in front of him. “Stan, what happened?” He asked, eyes full of worry and fear.

Stanley lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Bill’s neck and pushing his face into his shoulder. “I- I had a hallucination. From It.” He said, his voice muffled by his shirt.

Bill’s arms were around him as soon as Stanley hugged him. “I’m so sorry. I would have come out here sooner, but I- I didn’t hear anything. I’m so, so sorry, baby.” He said, slowly rubbing his back.

That took both of them aback. Stanley furrowed his brows and started to pull away as Bill did. “... baby?” Stanley said, tilting his head to the side.

Bill blinked, mouth hanging slightly open. “I, uh- I have no idea whu-where that cuh-came from. S-sorry, Stan.”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for pulling me out.” Stanley smiled softly at him and started to stand.

Bill stood up with him. “Of course. I’m glu-glad you’re okay.” He replied. “If you need anything else, I’m down the hall in 310.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.” Stanley gave a small wave before going and opening the door to his room. This time, it was a normal room.

“Goodnight, Stan.” Bill waved back and headed back to his room.

“Goodnight, Bill.” Stanley replied as he closed his door.

That exchange triggered yet another memory. Wrapped in each other's arms, a soft kiss, a smile and a giggle. Stanley smiled softly and sighed, grabbing his suitcase and lifting it onto the bed.

Tomorrow, he would get his token. And he knew just where to find it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobic slurs, canon-typical violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took a small break, but im back with ch4! enjoy!

Derry had changed a lot since the last time Stanley saw it.

Of course it had. He had left in the fall of ‘96, when he went to college and never turned back. As he looked around town, he realized just how much he had missed.

What was once a pet store was now a Radio Shack. The ice cream parlor was still up and running, but had obviously gone through renovation. Good, he thought, because if he could remember correctly, the place had been falling apart.

What really confused him was seeing the chains scattered about the town. Things like that in Derry… the idea didn’t sit well with him.

He wasn’t looking for any of those things, anyway.

Stanley continued to walk until he was almost to the very end of town, just before the abandoned buildings. When he saw it, a shudder passed through him.

The temple. His father would no doubt be inside, taking care of the business he conducted there. He took a deep breath and approached the doors, the pillars and domed top looming in front of him.

When he walked inside, he immediately remembered his bar mitzvah. He smiled softly and let out a hum. That really pissed his dad off. He walked past the pews and to the back offices. He knew he’d find his token there.

When he got to the door of his fathers office, he was stopped in his tracks, frozen by fear. Not confronting his father. He could see that the office was empty from where he stood.

No, that wasn’t it. He took another step forward, and saw what he was so scared of.

The portrait of the woman with the flute.

Even after all these years, she was still there, crooked as ever.

Stanley walked into the office and put his hands on opposite corners of the painting. He slowly moved it to where it sat straight on the wall. He stood there for a moment, eyes tracing the pattern on the golden frame.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as it fell back to its original spot. “Fine, then. Stay there.” He said.

He turned to the desk, noticing how scattered the papers were. If he wanted to avoid his father, he had to move quickly. He rounded the corner and opened a drawer, finding a small box with an ornate clasp. He opened it to find a stack of kippahs. Exactly what he was looking for.

Stanley put the box on the desk and looked through them, trying to find one with a specific pattern. The one that his father gave him, and made him wear every day.

He found it on the very bottom. Of course it would be at the bottom. He pulled it out and held it for a second, remembering how many times this was stolen from him. After a moment or two, he closed the box and put it back into the drawer, closing it slowly and quietly.

Stanley had just rounded the desk and pocketed the kippah when he came face to face with his father.

Donald Uris stopped completely in his tracks. “Stanley.” He said, tone flat as ever.

“Hi dad.” Stanley returned.

Donald took a breath and laughed. “And here I thought I’d never see you again.” He said, crossing his arms and tilting his head. “What are you doing here?”

Stanley crossed his arms right back. “None of your business. Sorry I ran into you. Let me through, please.”

“Not until you answer me, son. What are you doing in my office?” He asked, his voice firmer than before.

Stanley let out a puff of air through his nose just before he laughed. “I’m an adult now, dad. You don’t have any power over me anymore.” He said. “Now move.”

Donald hummed softly and moved past him. “Is that right? Well…” he sat in his chair with a grunt of effort. “I better not see you or any of your faggot friends again. I’m guessing that’s who you’re here with.”

Stanley took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Good to see you haven’t fucking changed.” He said, with more force and emotion than he wanted. He reached a hand out and pulled the painting down off of its hook before leaving, his fathers laughter ringing through the room after him.

Stanley left the temple, the sunlight and clamour of the town a nice reprieve from the thick silence. He turned and started walking down the street where he came when he saw Richie.

“Hey! You find yours?” Richie asked as he reached Stanley.

“Yeah.” Stanley pulled the kippah out of his pocket. “Remember this?”

Richie laughed softly. “Oh, do I. I remember climbing a tree to get this back to you because someone threw it up there.” He put his hands into his jacket pocket and looked back down the street.

Stanley put it back into his pocket. “I remember that, too. Did you find your token?” He asked, looking up at him with an inquisitive gaze.

“Yeah.” Richie took an arcade token out of his pocket. “Can’t believe that machine still worked after all these years.”

Stanley nodded and hummed in agreement before looking at Richie. He didn’t notice when he first came up to him, but Richie looked… shaken up. Scared, even. “You okay, Rich?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine!” He nodded and smiled unconvincingly at Stanley.

“I mean… if you say so. You can talk to me, though, okay?”

Stanley and Richie were best friends. They had been since they were very young. Maggie was friends with Andrea, so naturally, they brought their children together as well. Out of the entire Losers Club, Stanley and Richie had known each other the longest.

“Yeah! Yeah, I know that.” Richie nodded, more firmly this time. “Let’s head back, the others might be wondering where we’re at.”

Stanley gave him a suspicious look. “Okay. Let’s go.”

The Inn was strangely quiet when they got back. They found Ben and Beverly in the seating area, talking in hushed voices.

They decided to leave them be. Richie turned to Stanley and sighed softly. “So… I’m gonna go up to my room and wait for the others. What are you gonna do?”

Stanley thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. I mean, this might be the only time we get a second of quiet, so I think I’ll do the same.”

Richie nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you later.” He smiled and turned, heading up the stairs.

“Bye, Rich.” Stanley called after him with a wave.

Ben and Beverly looked over at them. “Hey, Stan!” Beverly called. “Come here.”

Stanley looked over to them and started to walk towards them.

They were interrupted by Richie screaming, and Eddie shouting.

The three of them looked at each other before bolting up the stairs, calling after them as they clamoured up.

At the top of the stairs, they found Richie couched beside Eddie, who had a big gash in his cheek with blood pouring from his mouth. “Hi guys! Bowers is in my room.” He said, smiling despite the pain he must have been feeling.

Stanley let out a long string of curses and covered his mouth as Beverly screamed. Ben bolted past them and into Eddie’s room. Beverly gently nudged Richie away to look at the gash. “What the fuck happened?” She asked.

“He stabbed me in the cheek.” Eddie said as he started laughing. “It hurts like a bitch.” He continued.

Beverly nodded, eyebrows furrowing and forehead creasing as he spoke. “Okay, uh, Richie, can you-” she turned to where he was to find that he was gone. She looked over to Stanley and gestured vaguely to the empty spot.

Stanley blinked a couple times before pointing down the hall. “His room, I think.”

“Okay…” Beverly nodded slowly. “Well, go to my room and get in my suitcase, there should be a sewing kit. And get disinfectant, too.”

“On it.” Stanley took another look at Eddie, who gave him a thumbs up.

Eddie spoke, causing more blood to spill out. “I have disinfectant in my room in the small black bag.” He said.

“I’ll get it.” Stanley nodded and turned to look down the stairs to see Bill. “Hi, Bill! Eddie got stabbed.” He said before making his way down the hall to Beverly’s room. When he got to her room and was about to go in, his eyes met with Richie, who was leaving his room with his suitcase packed.

“... hey Stan.”

“Where are you going..?”

Richie took a deep breath and sighed. “Home. I can’t do this, man. You should too, I know out of all of us, this was the hardest for you.”

Stanley stood there for a moment, blinking as Richie started to walk towards the door at the end. “Are you fucking serious, Tozier?” He followed after him. “No, Richie, you’re not fucking leaving.” He grabbed his arm to stop him.

Richie stumbled for a second and shook Stanley off of him. “I’m going! I’m going back home, I’m refunding the people who had to miss the show I canceled, and I’m going back on tour. I don’t have to answer to anyone here, especially not you.”

Stanley pulled his hand away, looking at Richie with his mouth agape. “You know what? Fine. Go then.”

Stanley stood and watched as Richie left, and didn’t move until he was out the door. He got Beverly’s sewing kit and Eddie’s disinfectant, and sat with Ben beside them as Beverly stitched him up.

Ben looked down at the lobby, eyebrows furrowed as Beverly finished stitching and was talking to Eddie. Stanley noticed Ben looking. “What is it, haystack?” He asked, sitting up farther to look with him.

“Where did Bill go?”

Beverly turned to him. “Oh, you two weren’t there for that. Something came down the stairs, it was a skateboard or something. It had a note on it. When he read it, he ran out. I’m not sure where he went.”

Beverly telling them this made Stanley feel a sharp point of jealousy stab through his heart. He hummed and nodded, relaxing and turning back to Eddie. “How are you feeling, Eddie?” He asked as a way to distract him from the negative feelings he felt towards Beverly.

Eddie was gently touching the bandage on his cheek. “Better. A lot better. That was fucking scary. You know he still has a mullet? After, like, thirty fucking years?” He said, turning to Stanley, his usual expression back.

Stanley laughed softly. “You know, that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” He said, adjusting his cardigan and pulling the sleeves up a little more.

Ben took a deep breath and sighed softly. “We should get to the library. Mike is waiting for us.”

Beverly nodded and stood slowly. “Eds, can you walk okay?”

“I think so.” Eddie replied as he started to stand.

Stanley and Ben stood with them. As they all walked out of the Inn, a sense of finality hung in the air. Like this was the last time they would see the Inn for quite some time.


	5. Chapter 5

The library brought back memories for all of the Losers, but especially for Ben. Out of all of them, he spent the most time here, reading book after book and researching random things for fun. Stanley remembered sitting with him, reading a book of his own and keeping Ben company for as long as he needed. After his initial run-in with Pennywise in the downstairs section of the library, he rarely ever liked going in there alone.

As they approached the building, Stanley noticed two things. One, Richie’s car, haphazardly parked. Two, an all too familiar car. A car that had almost run him and all of his friends over countless times when they were growing up.

“So that’s where Richie went.” Beverly commented, not seeing the other car.

“He was going to leave. He’s here because…” he turned to the rest of the group before finishing, “because Bowers is here.”

A hush fell over the group as they slowed. Ben took a shuddering breath, looking to the library. “Mike.” He said.

They all bolted into the library and up the stairs, wasting no time getting up into the loft area that Mike called home. Beverly called out when the door opened, the four of them rushing in to see Bowers, dead on the floor with a hatchet in his head, and Mike with his arm around Richie.

“Holy shit.” Eddie said, eyes widening and looking between Bowers and Mike and Richie.

Richie and Mike looked up. Richie smiled sheepishly and waved. “I just killed a guy.” He gestured over to Bowers, Mike hurriedly shushing him.

Beverly, Ben, Eddie, and Stanley ventured farther into the room. “You, uh… buried the hatchet, huh, Rich?” Stanley said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Richie let out a weak laugh. “You could say that, yeah.”

“I thought you were leaving.” Stanley continued.

Mike furrowed his brows and looked at Richie. “Wait, Rich, you were leaving?”

Richie nodded and ran a hand down his face. “Yeah, yeah. I was leaving. I got… I got scared and fed up, and I was going to run away. But I saw Bowers car, and… I couldn’t go. I knew he was going to hurt you, and I wanted to-” tears started to fall down his face.

“Oh, Richie.” Beverly took a few big strides toward him and hugged him, wrapping her arms tight around him.

Richie sniffled as the rest of them joined in the hug. “Be careful over there, Stan, I just hurled.”

Stanley sighed softly and looked down, immediately looking back up again. “Thanks for the warning, Rich.” He patted his back with a small sigh.

After a moment, Mike spoke up. “Where’s Bill?”

Beverly moved her head to look at him. “He went to take care of something, I thought he’d be back by now. I texted him and told him to meet us here.”

Another flash of jealousy passed through Stanley. Now he remembered. Bill and Beverly had a romance before they got together. He pushed the feeling down, knowing there were more important things happening at the current moment.

Ben furrowed his brows as Beverly spoke. “Where else could he be..?”

It seemed as though everyone realized at the same time. A hush fell over the group as they all looked at one another with wide eyes.

The Neibolt house.

The six of them ran out of the library in a hurry, running down the street and to the section of Derry that was almost completely abandoned. They got odd looks as they ran, but they didn’t slow down for anything.

When they saw the house in the distance, they saw Bill at the entrance, crowbar in hand as he pried the boards on the door back. They all called out to him, causing him to stop his work and look up at them.

When they got to the bottom of the steps, Bill spoke as they all caught their breath. “What are you guys doing here? Go home. It’s m-my fault you’re all here, let me g-go alone.”

It was Stanley who looked up at him with an incredulous expression. “Are you fucking stupid, Bill?” He said, voice raising above its usual level.

Beverly went to put a hand on his shoulder, but stopped when he gave her a look. He looked back at Bill and climbed the steps, standing in front of him on the porch. “That’s the dumbest fucking idea you’ve ever had. Going in alone is a deathwish, you know that, I know that, we all know that. If you go in alone, you will not come out, and you will not succeed. Then the chances of It coming back again? And killing the rest of us? Are guaranteed.”

Bill pursed his lips as Stanley spoke. “Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe, w-with me dead, it won’t m-make a difference. Like how you s-said you were going to k-kill yourself, get yourself off the playing board. Maybe that’ll be w-what happens when I die.”

Stanley let out a puff of air, shifting his weight to one leg. “Why the fuck would we let you do that? Why, Bill?”

“It’s my fault that you’re all here! Why do you want to go in with me?”

“Because I love you, you fucking idiot!”

A hush fell over the group as those words hung in the air. Stanley let himself breathe for a moment, realizing he had to amend his statement. “We love you, Bill. We love you, and we don’t want you to die.” He reached forward and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Now let’s kill this fucking clown together.”

Bill took a shuddering breath as he nodded, squeezing their hands. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

The rest of them joined the two on the steps and helped tear the boards down. Once they were down, the seven of them walked inside, on their way to defeat It once and for all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was late! i got pretty busy around the holiday. enjoy the chapter!

They were lucky Bill brought flashlights.

Stanley took a deep breath and let it out as they walked, staying close to the group. As soon as they had all gotten down there, he immediately remembered being separated from the group, almost dying at the hands of the portrait woman. He touched the scars on the side of his face, making a note to tell Patty when they got out. He hoped this explanation satisfied her need to know what happened to his face.

He was broken out of his thoughts by Richie’s voice. “Hey.” He said softly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Stanley asked, looking over to him before looking back ahead.

“Yeah. I need to talk to you about something.”

“If it’s about the “I love you” I said to Bill, I can-”

“No, not that. I remembered something, and I need someone to confirm it.” Richie said as he waved a hand.

“Oh. Okay, what is it?” Stanley replied.

“Did me and Eddie… date when we were younger?” Richie asked, dropping his voice down lower.

Stanley looked at him and nodded. “Yes. You did.”

Richie took a breath and nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay, cool. Cool, cool.”

“Don’t throw up, please.”

“Okay, first of all, you know I can’t help that, and second of all, I don’t have anything left to hurl.” He said with a sigh. “But… how do I talk to him about it? When do I talk to him about it?”

“Well, now would be a bad time, I think.” Stanley replied with a sarcastic tone.

Richie punched him lightly in the arm, the both of them laughing. “You think we’ll all get out of here okay?”

Stanley shrugged. “I don’t know. And that, to me, is the scariest part. But I have to keep my hopes up, keep positive, you know? I have to believe that we’re all going to be okay. Then maybe we all will be okay.” He said with a firm nod. “We’re going to get through this together. We’re Losers, remember?” He turned to him and smiled warmly.

Richie nodded and smiled back. “Yeah. Thanks, Stan.”

Stanley turned back to the rest of the group, keeping his eyes on them. “That’s something I never heard often.”

Richie huffed and hit him once again. “Yeah, because you’re a bitch most of the time.”

“Yeah, and?” Stanley said just before they all stopped.

The water was deeper than it was before. Past the deep water was a heap of what looked like garbage and scrap metal. Bill turned to Mike and spoke. “Do you know where we go from here?”

Mike nodded and pointed. “There should be an opening over there where we can get into his lair. It’s changed a lot since we were kids.”

Beverly furrowed her brows and looked at Mike. “Did you come down here alone?”

Mike shook his head. “No. I just… I just knew it was changing.”

Bill was looking out across the water, trying to think of a way to get across. “Do we just… wade through? I mean, that s-seems to be the only way to get across.”

Eddie let out a loud groan. “Great! Cool. This is just peachy.” He took a deep breath and sighed, visibly suppressing a gag.

“Eddie, it’s the only way through.” Bill said, turning to him.

“No, I know! I know, and I get it, but I can still be disgusted at the idea of wading through sewage, Bill!” He replied, moving closer to the front of the group.

Stanley sighed and looked to Richie. “Well, let’s go.” He said with a small smile.

Richie nodded and followed close behind the group as they one by one got into the water. It was surprisingly freezing. They waded through, trying to stay as close together as possible.

They were almost to the edge when something burst through the water and grabbed Beverly, laughing as she screamed. “Not a chance, Losers!” It yelled, baring it’s yellow teeth just before dragging Beverly underwater.

“Beverly!” Bill called, thrusting his flashlight at Ben and diving in after her. Mike went under as well as everyone else began to panic.

Through the panic, Stanley felt jealous once again. He shook it away and moved closer to the scene just before they heard a screech overhead.

The remaining four looked up with wide eyes to see an enormous bird diving at them.

“Scatter!” Ben called. They darted out of the way as fast as they could as the bird landed in the water with a splash, sending them in different directions.

“No!” Stanley lunged forward and to the side before grabbing onto Eddie’s jacket, staying with him as they tried to get to Richie and Ben, who were on the other side of the bird.

The bird was attempting to stab Richie and Ben, lunging its enormous beak forward and baring its sharp teeth. Stanley gasped just as he remembered what to do. “Hey, ugly!” He called, moving Eddie, who was squirming, behind him.

The bird whipped it’s head around just as Bill, Mike, and Beverly surfaced.

Stanley looked the bird dead in it’s eyes. “You aren’t real. You’re just a figment of our imagination.”

The bird stopped. Everything seemed to stop. The bird started to fade, dematerializing into a thick fog that hung over the area.

They regrouped and got onto the platform, checking each other for wounds. Beverly hugged Bill and Mike, taking a shuddering breath as she recovered. Stanley looked at Ben and Richie, who sat beside him taking deep breaths to calm their nerves.

Eddie had stood, and was pacing around. “This fuckign sucks. This fucking sucks and I don’t know if I can do it. I think I might be having an asthma attack, I- guys, I can’t do it, you saw me, I froze up there, I-”

“No, you fucking aren’t.” Richie stood up and jogged to him, grabbing onto the hand that held his inhaler.

“Give it the fuck back-” Eddie jerked his hand to him, hand tight around his inhaler.

“Eddie, fucking listen to me!” Richie finally wrenched it from his grasp, his voice and gaze firm.

Eddie took a deep breath and clenched his teeth. “What?” He said, gesturing with his hands to the side.

Richie took a deep breath. “Listen to me. You can do this. We’re all having doubts right now. You had one moment, and that’s okay. Hey, who killed a killer clown before he was fourteen?”

Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. “Me.”

“Who got thrown up on by a leper hallucination, then still had the functions to stab a guy with a knife he pulled out of his own face?”

“Me.”

Richie nodded. “Who married a woman half his body mass?”

“Me.”

“That’s right.” Richie grabbed his face and pulled him into a swift kiss. “You’re braver than you think.” He said when he pulled away.

Eddie stood there, eyes wide. “... thanks, Richie.” His voice was about as lovestruck as his gaze.

Richie nodded and took his hands off his face. “Now let’s go.”

Richie fell back behind the group and beside Stanley. He looked at him and spoke. “Was that a good time?”

Stanley let out a small laugh. “I mean… yeah, I guess. Good job, Richie.” He smiled at him and walked to the yawning chasm in front of him, following the rest of the group down into the chamber.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter loosely follows the canon events of the final fight!

It was quiet. Way too quiet.

Stanley stood at the edge of the circle as Mike set up the small fire. “Okay.” He said, standing up after a moment. “Toss your tokens in. I’ll go first.” He took a rock out of his jacket pocket and tossed it in, the fire pulsing.

Beverly went next. She took a postcard out of her pocket and held it to her chest for a moment before throwing it in. “Goodbye, January Embers.”

Ben glanced over to her with eyebrows slightly raised before taking his token out. A folded piece of paper that glinted in the firelight. Yearbook paper. Beverly recognized it, it showed on her face. She didn’t say anything, though.

Next was Richie. He took out the arcade token and threw it in, watching it curl and melt almost immediately. “How cheap were those things?” He said to himself, adjusting his footing.

Stanley was next. He took the kippah out of his pocket and ran his finger along the pattern before throwing it in.

Next was Eddie. He put in his inhaler, looking up at Richie and smiling almost smugly. “You proud, Rich?”

Richie nodded softly. “Y’know? Yeah, I am.”

Bill was last. He took a deep breath and took a paper boat out of his pocket, running his finger over the spot of blood on it. Stanley looked over to him and gave him a warm smile and a sympathetic look. “It’s okay, Bill.” He said softly.

Bill tossed it into the fire, watching as it curled at the edges.

Mike nodded. “Okay, now take hands. This is a battle of wills, the final step.”

The fire went out as soon as they held hands.

A crack sounded through the chamber, causing all of them to look up. Stanley gasped as he saw a dim orange glow. “The deadlights.”

“Don’t look!” Mike yelled before starting to chant. “Turn light into dark, turn light into dark- say it!”

Everyone joined in. Stanley wrenched his eyes shut as he shouted the chant over and over, feeling the searing heat of the deadlights descending upon them.

When the heat and the glow started to fade, Mike lunged forward and slammed the top onto the leather container, holding it shut.

Eddie was the first to speak. “Did it work?” He asked, looking around at the others, then to Mike.

Mike looked up at Eddie, then back to the leather container. “I-”

There was a squeaking sound. Mike looked down and was met with the sight of a red balloon, struggling under the weight of the lid.

“Mike..? What’s happening?” Stanley said, started to back away from the center.

Mike shook his head as he tried to contain the balloon. “I don’t know, that was the last step, I-”

While his attention was away from the balloon, it started to grow faster. “Shit-” Richie cursed as he backed away towards one of the many holes in the chamber they were in.

Everyone else followed suit, trying to get as far away from it as they could before the balloon could swallow them whole. Just as they thought they were far away enough, the balloon exploded, knocking all of them off their feet.

With ringing in his ears, Stanley attempted to stand, stumbling right into Bill. “Stan!” He called, his voice sounding like he was underwater.

Stanley looked at him and put his hands on his shoulders to balance himself. “I’m okay, I’m okay. Are you?” Stanley could barely hear himself speak.

Bill nodded and hooked an arm around him. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” He looked around at the others, making a headcount of sorts. “Where’s Mike?”

Richie, Eddie, Ben, and Beverly joined them. “Mike? Mikey!” Ben called into the darkness, flashlights shining every which way.

Mike joined them, panting for breath. “I’m okay.” He said through gasps.

Richie hit him gently on the shoulder. “What happened, man? Shouldn’t that have worked? We put our stuff in the fire, we did the chanting thing-”

A stray flashlight beam landed on the grinning face of Pennywise, looking at them with hungry eyes through one of the holes in the center. They screamed, jumping backwards.

His head began to twitch as he spoke. “Oh, did it work? Did it work, Mikey? Oh, boo hoo hoo!” He laughed, body contorting as he climbed through the hole. His head whipped around to look at all of them, his gaze landing on Stanley. “Oh, Tweety bird!” He taunted with a crazed laugh.

Bill put his arm in front of Stanley and pushed him behind him. “We aren’t afraid.” He said firmly.

Pennywise laughed once again as he started to grow bigger. “Big Billy, Big Billy!” It cackled as it sprouted long, spindly legs.

Stanley could feel the anger radiating off of Bill at the nickname. “Bill, calm down.” He put a firm hand on his arm and gave it a comforting squeeze.

He had expected Bill to yell at him, like he had yelled at Eddie earlier, but to Stanley’s surprise, he calmed down. He looked at Stanley and nodded firmly before looking to the rest of the group. “Let’s kill this fucking clown.”

Pennywise let out a battlecry, sharp appendages bursting from him and aiming directly at the middle of the group.

They scattered, looking for anything and everything they could use as a weapon.

Though, as Stanley was looking, he wandered too far.

He was digging in a pile when he heard a squeaking sound behind him. He turned and looked down, seeing two small, baby birds. He took a breath in, watching as they squeaked and writhed around, seemingly moving closer to him. “Shit, uh, no.” He said, moving out of the way of their path.

The squeaking turned into screeching as they aged before his eyes. He gasped in fear and turned, running away from them as they chased him. He looked behind him and gasped, realizing they were gaining on him. When he looked back in front of him, a pair of doors loomed before him. He knew those doors. He was all-too familiar with those doors. The temple.

Stanley had no other choice. It was either die at the hands of featherless, screeching birds, or face whatever horror Pennywise had waiting for him.

He braced his hands in front of him and pushed on the doors to the temple, bursting inside in a whirlwind.

What he saw almost made him jump out of his skin.

Rotting faces turned to him, expecting him to do something. He took a shuddering breath and looked down the aisle, seeing more corpses on the raised dais. One of them looked like one of the rabbis that was there when he was younger.

This was his bar mitzvah.

Stanley took a step forward, eyes scanning the crowd. He avoided looking into their eyes- he could see the pain behind them, begging for release from the realm they were trapped in.

He climbed the stairs and stood in front of the crowd, taking a deep breath as a microphone was thrust at him. He took it, and looked down at the table.

All that was there was a note written in blood.

TWEETY BIRD, TWEETY BIRD, SAY YOUR SPEECH!

Stanley whipped his head back up. The corpses had moved. Stanley’s breath hitched in his throat as he noticed all of them had moved closer to the edge of the pew they were sitting in. He cleared his throat, and just as he was starting to speak…

Movement started from the corner of his eye. He turned sharply to see…

Richie. An extremely tall, wooden version of Richie, with his mouth sewn shut and maggots sprouting from his face. He started to clap, like how Richie did at his actual bar mitzvah all those years ago.

The crowd of corpses whipped their heads to him. He looked nervous, staring Stanley down. He gestured to the door with the tilt of his head just as the crowd descended on him.

Stanley rounded the corner and flew down the steps, bolting to the entrance of the temple. He pushed past the corpses, which had become too focused on the wooden Richie to pay him any mind.

When he got out, he found himself in a tunnel. He continued to run, spotting an opening at the very end. He skidded to a halt when he got to it and carefully climbed out, watching the fight unfold before him for a moment before carefully making his way down.

He looked up and to the right to see Richie emerge from another chasm, struggling for air with shaking hands. He looked turned and gasped, noticing that the fighting had stopped, and Pennywise had a grip on one of them. Stanley watched as Richie picked up a good sized rock and threw it as hard as he could at the clown. When it made contact, he laughed in triumph. “Hey, fuckface!”

This could only end well, Stanley thought as fear pierced his heart.

Richie laughed as he continued to talk, “You wanna play truth or dare? Here’s a truth, you’re a sloppy bitch!” He picked up another rock and positioned it to throw. “Let’s da-”

Pennywise let its mouth hang open, the deadlights causing Richie to stop completely in his tracks.

Stanley gasped in fear, and clamped a hand over his mouth to keep him from yelling out.

Entranced by the deadlights, Richie began to slowly rise off the ground. The world around them was quiet as they watched, too paralyzed by fear to do anything to stop it.

Until one voice rang out, clear as day.

“Beep beep, motherfucker!”

Eddie.

From where he stood, Stanley couldn’t see what had struck Pennywise, but whatever it was hit him square in the mouth. Richie fell back to the ground as the trance was broken. Eddie ran to Richie and crouched beside him, yelling triumphantly as Pennywise went down.

Stanley had a horrible feeling. He looked up, and even through the darkness, he could see the sharp tendril aiming itself right at Richie and Eddie. “Guys, watch out!” He yelled as it surged forward.

Richie grabbed Eddie and rolled over until they were well away from the striking area. The sharp part landed in the hard ground, getting very stuck. The monster wailed, freeing itself from the spike it had landed on. “Oh, you’re no fun!” Pennywise cried as it tried to get the tendril out of the ground.

Stanley ran across the area to Richie and Eddie’s side. “Holy shit, are you two okay?” He asked, crouching down beside them.

Eddie moved off of Richie and started nodding slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I almost just fucking died.” 

Richie sat up and looked at Stanley with a pained expression. “I, uh- I’m gonna throw up.” He said as his breath hitched in his throat.

Stanley nodded and looked around for the others. Beverly and Ben were crouched by Mike, and Bill was getting up off the ground, wiping his mouth. “Bill!” Stan called, getting up and running over to him. “Hey, are you- why are you soaked?”

Bill met eyes with Stanley, some of the hardness melting away. “When we all got s-separated, muh-my vision was in my basement, and it was fl-flooded. I talked to Georgie and my younger s-self.”

Stanley put a hand on his arm and nodded. “Are you okay..? I mean, as okay as you can be in a sewer fighting a killer clown?”

Bill let out a snicker. “Yeah, I’m fine. For the most part.” His teeth clattered together as he shivered.

Stanley furrowed his brows. “Here, do you want my cardigan..? It’s a little dirty but it’ll help with the cold.”

“No, Stan, it’s-” as he spoke, Stanley was already shrugging it off his shoulders.

“It’s okay, really.” He handed it to him with a soft smile. “I’ll live without it.” He patted his arm and nodded once. “Better?”

A blush had painted Bill’s cheeks red. “Yeah. Much better.”

Bill wrapped an arm around his waist and turned, walking toward the rest of the group. Stanley turned and walked with him, his arm going around Bill’s back. Richie and Eddie had joined up with Ben, Beverly, and Mike, who were watching Pennywise like a hawk.

Pennywise had mostly recovered, and glared down at the group. “You cannot win.” His tone had completely shifted.

Bill’s grip tightened around Stanley, almost instinctively. “We can, and we will. Like Richie said, you’re a sloppy bitch.”

Richie nodded and joined Bill's other side. “Yeah. A sloppy bitch, and one shitty fucking clown if you ask me.”

It hissed and recoiled at their words, scuttling back and aiming another attack.

“Wait!” Eddie called, holding a hand up. “Insult it some more!” He looked to the group before looking back up Pennywise. “Fucking clown. Stupid clown.”

The sharp pointed tendril fell limp as he hissed once more, visibly starting to shrink.

Mike’s eyes lit up. “That’s it. That’s it! Make him feel small!”

“I’m not small!” It roared, getting closer to the group and leaning down close to it. “I am the eater of worlds!”

Mike let out a laugh, shaking his head. “No. You’re just a clown.”

The world around them stopped. Pennywise had a dumbfounded look on its face. After a long moment of silence, it snarled. “No!”

Beverly balled her hands into fists as she yelled out. “You’re a weak old woman!”

“You’re a headless boy!” Ben yelled.

“A dying old hobo!” Eddie stepped forward as he shouted.

“You’re just a stupid painting!” Stanley felt a smile spread across his face as he shouted as well.

“A fake!” Bill shouted.

“A shitty CGI werewolf!” Richie was last to shout.

Pennywise reared back, falling over and scrambling back into the place he had emerged from.

They followed it, hurling insults as they did so. Pennywise wailed and tried to refute their points, but it simply got smaller and smaller with every word they said. It looked… sad. Just completely, utterly defeated and sad. Seeing it so shriveled up and small only fueled their desire to smash it like a raisin under the heel of their shoe.

It was weak. They knew that for sure. The insults died down, and they simply looked at the sad, wrinkled form that lay in front of them. Mike was the first person to speak. “So much for the eater of worlds. Stupid clown.”

Pennywise began to deteriorate. “You win.” It croaked. Those were its final words. Once they were spoken, the entire chasm they were in began to shake.

“What’s happening?” Bill said, looking up as the walls began to break.

Ben slowly shook his head. “Doesn’t matter what’s happening, we need to get out of here.”

The seven of them bolted back the way they came, holding onto each other as they ran. Climbing through the Neibolt house as it was crumbling was the worst part of the entire fight. They shouted out as a beam fell right in front of them, making a sidestep around it.

They burst through the door and down the steps just in time. Behind them, the old Neibolt house crumbled away, leaving nothing but a pile of rotting wood and rubble.

They turned around to look at it, a sense of finality hanging in the air. They basked in their victory for a moment, letting the silence drag as they looked at what remained of their victory.

Eddie was the first to speak. “I need a fucking shower.” He said with a sigh.

Beverly snickered, and everyone laughed with her. Eddie looked up and looked around at them with furrowed brows. “No, I’m dead fucking serious.” Even as he said that, he smiled and laughed.

Beverly’s eyes widened as she had a thought. “I have an idea. Come on. It won’t be what you want, but I think we should.”

Mike furrowed his brows as he looked at Beverly, trying to figure out what she was thinking. After a moment, it clicked. He smiled slowly and nodded. “Yes. Yes, yes. Let’s go.”

The rest of the group simply followed as they took an all-too-familiar path. They walked the outskirts of town and into the woods. Eddie finally understood, and he gasped softly. “Are you fucking kidding me? I say I want a shower, and you take me to the fucking-”

“Quarry.” Stanley finished for him.

There it was. The warm, tan rocks, the bushes that lined the edges and stopped almost right in the middle. Bill laughed and walked closer to the edge, looking down into the water. “W-wanna play loogie?” He asked, looking back at the rest of them.

Richie laughed as Beverly looked around at them, disgusted. “I forgot about that.” She laughed and shook her head.

Stanley gave her a look. “Shut up, you joined in, too. Kicked all of our asses at it, actually.”

Beverly lightly bumped him on the shoulder and laughed softly. “You got me there, Stan.” She said with a smile.

Richie was the next to speak. “Well, should we jump in?”

Bill shrugged off Stanley’s cardigan and put it on the ground, taking off his watch and putting his personal items on it. “Let’s do it.” He looked back at the group and smiled just before jumping, arms out to his side.

Stanley put his stuff beside Bill’s as Richie shrugged off his jacket and put it beside his. “Do I need to push you in again, Stanny?” He looked at him and gently bumped his shoulder.

Stanley put a hand on the ground to keep balance, glancing over to the opening as Mike jumped in, then Ben. “You wish, Tozier.” He stood up and looked Richie in the eyes just before taking a running start and jumping.

He looked down and smiled, taking a deep breath just before he hit the water.


	8. Chapter 8

Three washing machines and a dryer hummed as the clothes inside spun round and round.

The Losers Club, now clean and freshly clothed, took up the entire seating area. Stanley sat on the top of the couch, feet resting on the arm right below him. He looked over to Bill, who was sitting beside him, typing away on his phone. Most likely texting his wife.

Stanley’s heart sank slightly when he remembered that Bill was married. He took a deep breath and looked back to the rest of the group, eyes catching Ben and Beverly holding hands. He smiled, happy that they were back together. He then looked to Richie and Eddie, who were bickering to themselves on a small loveseat beside the couch. Eddie caught him. “Stanley, tell this fucking asshole to get his legs off the couch.”

Richie sputtered and sat up. “Stanley can’t tell me to do shit! I’m not moving, Eddie spaghetti, so deal with it!”

Eddie let out a loud groan as he kicked Richie in the side of the leg. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you!”

Best to leave them to their own devices. Stanley simply rolled his eyes and shook his head, turning away and looking at the ground.

Mike looked up as the dryer pinged. “That’s me!” He got up and smiled at the rest of them before going and getting his clothes.

Ben sat up with a big smile. “Hey, there’s still one place we haven’t been. I can’t believe none of us remembered before.”

Richie and Eddie stopped fighting when he spoke. “What is it?” Richie asked, confusion crossing his expression.

Beverly spoke next. “Remember the clubhouse?” She said with a smirk.

Stanley gasped and sat up. “That’s where the hammock was!”

Mike joined once again, sitting on the couch and putting his folded clothes down next to him. “Oh, are you talking about the clubhouse?”

Eddie laughed softly as he remembered. “Yeah! Yeah, that was nice. Stan got us all those shower caps, so we wouldn’t get spiders in our hair.”

“... wouldn’t get spiders in your hair.” Stanley said with Eddie. “Yeah, and Richie made fun of me.” He flashed Richie a look as the other man held up his arms and scrunched his shoulders.

“I didn’t want to look stupid!” He said. “And I was right, all of you looked really dumb. Bill kept his ears out of his.” He pointed to Bill, who also gave Richie a look.

“I had s-sensory issues, I cuh-couldn’t have m-my ears in things like th-that!” He defended with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah, doesn’t mean you didn’t look dumb.” Richie shot back as he stuck his tongue out at him.

After everyone’s clothes were washed and dried, they headed to the clubhouse. Seeing the familiar path brought back many more memories, which they shared on their way.

“Stanley, didn’t you used to birdwatch here a lot?” Ben asked, turning to look at him.

“I did! I took you with me a lot, didn’t I?” Stanley replied.

“Yeah! Yeah. Gosh, I miss those days.” Ben said with a wistful sigh. “Let’s birdwatch again soon.”

Stanley nodded with a small smile. “I’d really like that.”

The clubhouse door was hidden under a thick pile of leaves and underbrush. Mike and Ben stepped forward to clear it off, opening the door and letting everyone in first.

Somehow, after almost thirty years, it had remained nearly the same.

Stanley stepped down and took in a deep breath. “Wow.” He said softly. “I missed this place.”

His eyes fell on the hammock. Another memory came back to him. Him and Bill, sitting across from one another, legs tangled together as he wrote. When he was done writing, he would hand his notebook and pen to Stanley, and ask him to proofread it for him. Stanley turned to Bill, who was investigating the shelves. Stanley took a deep breath and joined his side. “Do you remember yet?”

Bill put the cracker container down and looked over at Stan. “Remember…?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Stanley reached out and took his hand. “You know.” He ran his thumb across his knuckles, like he always used to.

Bill thought for a second as his expression cleared. “I… yeah. I remembered at th-the Inn.” He looked at Stanley before continuing, “When I pulled you out of y-your hallucination. I almost remembered at the restaurant, when I hugged you.”

Stanley nodded. “I remembered when I saw you.” He said, laughter laced in his tone. “It’s okay you didn’t remember right away. You had other things on your mind.” Stanley quickly said when he saw Bill’s expression darken.

“Stan, I’m s-so sorry. I don’t know how I c-could have forgotten you.”

“No, Bill, it’s okay. We all forgot. Richie and Eddie forgot, Ben and Beverly forgot, so it’s okay we did, too. At least we remember now, right?” Stanley reached down and took his other hand, holding both of his hands tight in his.

Bill let himself smile softly. “Yeah. That’s all that really matters, huh? Here and now?”

Stanley nodded and hummed. “Here and now.”

They simply stared at one another for a moment. Captured in each other’s gazes, the sensation of their hands touching. Stanley stepped forward just as Bill leaned down, their lips coming together in a sweet, longing kiss. A kiss that was long overdue.

When they pulled back, they immediately embraced. Stanley rested his head on Bill’s shoulder, fitting perfectly on him. “I missed you so much.”

Bill wrapped his arms around Stanley, holding him tight as he rested his head against his. “I missed you, too.”

Stanley took in a shuddering breath as he spoke. “Do you still want to be with me? I know you have a wife, and I don’t want to come between you two.”

Bill let out a puff of a laugh. “Are you kidding? Stanley, I want to be with you. All these years, I knew I was m-missing s-something. Yes, I was happy with Audra at f-first, but I knew s-she wasn’t the person that I needed or wanted.” He pulled away just enough to look down at Stanley. “I love you. I want to be with you. I don’t know how to tell Audra, and I know you’re with someone, too, so-”

“Bill, I’m not with anyone.” Stanley said, eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Bill blinked a couple times. “I- Pat? I thought he was your…”

Stanley took a deep breath and sighed softly. “Pat is short for Patricia. We are roommates.” He said the last part firmly, and with a smile.

Bill’s expression cleared of all confusion. “Oh! Oh.” He nodded and laughed. “Oh. Okay. I was convinced this entire time that you had just… said r-roommates out of habit.”

“Eddie thought the same thing. Actually…” Stanley adjusted his hold on Bill to where his arm was around his back, turning to face the rest of the group. “How many of you thought Pat was a man and we were secretly dating?”

They turned to face him, eyes wide. Richie laughed out loud, fixing his glasses, which were half off his face. “Holy shit, what? Is that not who Pat is?” He asked, standing up out of the hammock.

Stanley shook his head as Bill draped an arm across his shoulders. Stanley grabbed loosely onto Bill’s arm as he spoke. “Patricia and I are roommates. Just roommates. And all of you are idiots.” He said.

They all laughed at the shared mistake together, Bill and Stanley moving closer to join the rest of the group.

When they finally left the clubhouse, the sun was setting.

Stanley and Bill held hands all the way back to the Inn, and didn’t let go until they got to Bill’s room. “You’re leaving tomorrow morning?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

Bill nodded and smiled softly. “Yeah. I need to get b-back pretty quick, I have a deadline s-soon. What about you?”

“I’m headed home tomorrow as well. I went ahead and took a whole week off from work, so I’m going to enjoy that while it lasts.” A beat of silence. “... so are we… together again?”

Bill took Stanley’s hands in his. “Technically, we never s-stopped being together. But yes. We’re together. I’m going to m-make arrangements with Audra, and hopefully move down to Georgia to be with you. If that’s alright.”

Stanley nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll start looking for places.” As they talked, excitement built in the air between them. “Did we exchange numbers..? I don’t remember ever giving you mine.”

Bill thought for a second before slowly shaking his head. “I don’t think so. But we can do that later. Would you maybe want to… stay in my room tonight? I can s-stay in yours, if that’s w-what you prefer, or we don’t even have t-to.”

“I’d love to, Bill. Let me go get my stuff, and I’ll be back.” Stanley replied, nodding as he spoke.

Bill pressed a kiss to his lips before letting go of his hands and stepping toward his door. “See you soon, dear. I love you.”

Stanley patted his shoulder and squeezed gently. “I love you. I’ll be back in a minute.”

After that day, the Losers Club made another oath. An oath to, no matter what, stay by each other's sides. An oath to always be friends.

And they intended to keep that one, too.


End file.
